Why ? I was the reckless one
by RosalindAnnaBorelli
Summary: OS. Blackinnon. Very short. They weren't made for a happy ending. They knew it. She ended it that day. A week later, they buried her.


"I hate you ! You're ruining everything and I'm fucking tired, Sirius ! We're not children anymore. Why are you so bloody reckless ? You'll get yourself killed, silly man ! I can't handle it. No. I'm leaving. Do you hear me ? I CAN'T ! It's too much."

They often argued but that morning was different. She left and didn't plan to come back.

Their story was complicated. He realized he had hurt her often.

Marls fell in love with him at the naive age of 14.

At that time, Sirius dated a girl a month -if it wasn't a week- and it hurt her. He eventually returned her feelings at 18. She wasn't as enamored but she said yes when he asked her out.

Things between them were... Interesting to say the least. One could even say explosive. It wasn't always easy. They had some personal issues on their own that they seemed unable to resolve.

Marlene's natural anxiety and Sirius reckless behaviour didn't mix well.

They could have part ways. If only...

They were in love. It was too late.

So they tried to make it work. Marlene took relaxation lessons with her friend Alice ans Sirius did his best to hide from her the fact he was acting like he was immortal while on missions for the Order.

It was a total fail.

Alice begged Marls to stop attending her lessons because she was stressing her out and it was not good for her baby.

Others kept commenting on Sirius spectacular/foolish actions during Order's meetings.

Marlene poundered the question a week. She talked to Lily, she cried on Alice's understanding shoulder, she took a two days off and came to her parents' home to think a bit, she came back, and heard again of Sirius' wild gestures. Her decision was already taken anyway. She didn't want to feel pain anymore, and it only confirmed it.

They'd been happy, some time ago. Life was good then. He calmed her fears instead of making them more frequent.

After Regulus' supposed death so much changed. She didn't know the poor guy but secretly hated him for making Sirius miserable.

He changed a lot. There always had been some rebellion into him but he was not that careless. His behaviour was almost suicidal. Grand gestures but very risqué ones.

The night she left him, she slept at her parents' home. The next morning, she had puffy eyes and dark circles under them.

She was preparing hers and her little sister's breakfast when Death Eaters broke in.

She was mumbling about hard matresses and rainy days. Her lil sister was nodding profusely, drinking her pumpkin juice obediently.

"Promise me to never have a boyfriend, it's like-"

"Marly, there's someone looking at us through the window. "

"Sorry, what did you say sweetheart?"

There had been a big noise. Glass flied all around the kitchen.

"Go up ! Quick !"

The eight years old girl followed her instructions and lose a pink slipper in her haste.

"Don't pick it up ! Run !" Marlene yelled while answering back to Death Eaters hexes.

It was her last words.

When Sirius came to the house to apologize to her and to beg her to come back, he saw the Mark in the sky.

He knew. The second he saw it, he knew. But he entered nevertheless.

He saw her, face down. She had morning hair put in a messy bun, she wore her grey PJ's shorts and an old black sweater. He turned her slowly, took her pulse. Nothing.

He looked at her. She had blackberry jam on the corner of her mouth, and her spruce wand was lying against her cold hand.

She looked so innocent. So natural.

Sirius adverted his eyes. The pain... It was unbearable.

He saw the pumpkin juice on the floor and realized she was probably not alone in the house. She never drank pumpkin juice.

He called.

Nothing. He climbed the stairs.

A middle-aged woman was lying dead in her floral nightgown on the floor of the corridor.

And there was the man in the bedroom, half-shaved but already in wizard robes.

There was a younger body next to him, partly under the bed. It must have been Daisy, Marlene's little sister. The corpse moved and Sirius startled.

He knelt near the body, touched her wrist.

"Hey kiddo. You gonna be okay. Hey. Open your eyes. Come on, you have to breathe. Breathe ! For everything that is holy, breathe please ! You have to ! You're too young, you can't die. Okay, we're taking the floo network. St Mungo. Help ! Please ! She's dying !"

He fell on his knees, still holding the barefeet little girl clad in bright pink PJ's like she was his own.

Her brain was damaged. She died in the night.

James' death was just the last blow. Marlene's death damaged his heart to no end. James' broke it.

He could have been dead as well.

It feels like it.


End file.
